To the Streets

The thing I resent most about trump is how much time he's costing me. Worrying about that monkey and what he's doing to our great country is almost full-time work and it pisses me off. He hasn't even been in office for a month and already I've been to two protests.

And I'm not an organized protest kind of guy. It's always seemed to me that some people are just looking for something to protest. I never saw what the big deal was with the WTO, and I don't give a shit about GMOs. I thought the Occupy movement had potential and I got ahold of one of the organizers to help plan a protest. But they refused to make any demands! I said, How can you have a protest without offering solutions? He said they didn't want to be specific about anything because they wanted to be inclusive to anybody who wanted to protest. I wrote them off immediately.

But I have protested, just not in an organized manner. I once dragged a friend down to protest when the longshoremen went on strike. These guys make $80-$100,000/yr and they went on strike because they didn't want update their tracking system. Meanwhile, ships sat in Elliott Bay for over a month and produce rotted. It pissed me off so I made a bunch of signs calling them mafioso and commies. One sign said, FUCK YOU! GET BACK TO WORK! They were not amused.

Another time, Chase Bank messed up my account and left me without access to my money for a week. They acknowledged they made a mistake, but the branch manager (wish I could remember his name) said he couldn't do anything about it. I staged a sit-in on the couch for about an hour, but nobody noticed. So I went to Kinkos and got some poster board and made a sign that said- I WAS MOLESTED BY CHASE BANK! ASK ME HOW. I stood out in the rain all day and he called the cops on me. The police talked to him and told him I was within my rights and didn't even come over to talk to me. Only one person came up to me, an older woman who thought she found a comrade. She said, 'I was molested behind a dumpster over at  the Safeway. Wanna split a sandwich?'

When the Dalai Lama came to Seattle I protested with a sign that said- If It's Not SCOTTISH BUDDHISM, It's CRAP!!, and I went to a debate about pseudo-science 'intelligent design' with a sign that said- Scottish Buddhists Were NOT Intelligently Designed! 

But I've never felt a need to be a part of a real protest. Until now. Now, I want to be part of every anti-trump protest there is. I want that demented fucker to see as many haters out in the street as possible. Plus, it feels good to be among like-minded, peaceful people. The atmosphere at both the Woman's March and the protest against the immigration ban was as positive and uplifting as you could imagine. 

So I will be going to every protest that pops up (except for the Sasquatch March For Love March tomorrow, I have to work). I've got my black pussy hat and a stack of poster board and I'm ready.