Back when I was driving a Duck as Captain Braveliver, I came across a small reference to an architect who built several buildings after the Great Seattle Fire of 1889. It seems that this man, Elmer Fisher, misrepresented himself to land the vast lion's share of work building stone and brick buildings in Pioneer Square, which was Seattle's commercial district. By one account at the time he was responsible for 54 of these buildings that went up in just 18 months which would be completely unbelievable if not for the fact that these buildings did exist and in many cases, still do. Right there in stone and brick. 

I've spent years researching the elusive Mr Fisher and I am convinced he built these buildings in Seattle and Port Townsend while on a manic tear before disappearing and taking his own life at 54 years old. 

This book contains a couple of walking maps that explain his remaining buildings, as well as short stories of my time in and out of many iconic Seattle occupations. 

BRAVELIVER, a Bipolar Guide to Working in Seattle, is available on Amazon in both paperback and Kindle. 

Seattle is a mariner city full of many shipyards but none is as devoted to its neighborhood as Pac Fish. Doug has been collecting signs of now-defunct Ballard businesses for years and if you're ever at the foot of 24th Ave NW in Ballard, you really have to sneak a peak through the gate and check it out. Better yet, get buzzed in to the Ship's Store and get a jigsaw puzzle somebody made that captures the scene.

The Pacific Fishermen Shipyard started out as the Ballard Marine Railway that built fishing boats for the growing Alaskan fishery. During the Second World War it built about a dozen mine sweepers for the war effort. After the war a couple boats, made of local cedar, were decommissioned and repurposed. One by Jaques Cousteau and turned into the Calypso, and another by John Wayne and turned into his yacht the Wild Goose. 

I wanted to make a painting that honors this great shipyard as well as many of the businesses that make Ballard my favorite neighborhood. This took me about three months and there are over 115 entities, if you're counting. 

Before moving West, I saw the Ramones probably ten or twelve times. I would get the local weekly and check if they were playing anywhere in CT, NY, MA or RI. This was, of course, long before the internet.

There was no show like a Ramones show. At least until the last time I saw them at the Living Room in Providence when a bunch of jarheads started swing Xacto knives around ruining everything.

Some performer have to jump around and get the audience into it to get some energy going but not the Ramones. It really was all about the music.  They'd come out onstage without making contact (even with each other), Dee Dee would yell, "ONE TWO THREE FOUR!!!", they'd blast out Do You Wanna Dance or something, and when it was over, two minutes later, do another one.

Joey would move around a little but Johnny and Dee Dee mostly stayed pretty still and I bet if I watch an old show now it would probably even look like they resented being there and were only fulfilling an obligation.

Though it had to be fun to see people flying around in manic ecstasy to Surfin' Bird or Rockaway Beach. There's just no way that wasn't worth everything.

When I came out to Seattle in '96 for an all-expense-paid conference on improving neighborhoods, the hotel offered us a town car to take us anywhere we wanted. One our very first night just after checking in, they brought us to the New Orleans in Pioneer Square for dinner. On the way in I picked up a copy of the local weekly and saw something called the Night of the Living Elvises at the Crocodile.

The driver dropped me, Ellen, Michelle and Dina off and we saw Elvis impersonator after Elvis impersonator backed up by the Memphis Mafia. A Young Elvis would finish his song, a Fat Elvis would come out and the bass player would yell, "One two three four!", and on and on. It was incredible. 

Finally, Drug Addict Elvis came out with a nurse and an whiskey IV drip, holding a toilet bowl full of fried chicken that he would take a bite of and then throw at the audience while sing I Wanna Be Sedated. 

I was jumping up and down on a couch with my friends and even though I had only been in Seattle for a couple hours, I knew I was gonna move here as soon as I could.

This painting is for my sister, 'cause the only thing that would have been more perfect would have been if she were jumping up and down on the couch with me.

I painted this off a photo I found online by a guy named Ian Harper who, although we never met, was no doubt at some of the same shows as I was.

No matter what I ever do in my life, nothing will be better than figuring out how to make a fully functional Great Highland bagpipe out of brass, fiberglass and carbon fiber.

It took me over ten years to figure out all the sound chambers and inside dimensions of the chanter and all that, but I did. I spent THOUSANDS of hours on it. 

And wouldn't you know, the only people who can play these complicated instruments are bagpipers, and except for a handful of them, they all dismissed them out of hand and went out of their way to mock me online and even to my face in various beer gardens of several Scottish Festivals.

So I gave away nine of them to people who, for all I know, probably just stuffed them in a box and threw them in a closet. 

But I saved my Green Marble bagpipe and put it up for sale on eBay. Nobody bought it for $4,000 which kinda pissed me off, so I raised the price to $20, 000. I figured if they weren't gonna sell, I'd rather they didn't sell for twenty thousand than four, which of course, they didn't. So I packed them in a box and put them under my bed.

And then a couple weeks ago I went back to my YouTube channel to put some videos up for my portable cabin and saw something somebody posted last year on a bagpipe video where he called me a fool because, "How can make a bagpipe when he doesn't even play them?"

Well I can tell you RufusMcDufus69 or whatever the hell your name was, it's because I spent YEARS on it. I went to your YouTube channel to see what you've made but it was just a bunch of Pantera videos, so screw you.

So I pulled out my last set of pipes and now they're hanging up in full display in the portable cabin I built, and it makes me happy every time I look at them.

Last year I went up with some friends to Ketchikan for a yoga retreat. I don't do yoga but I REALLY wanted to see a whale. I'd lived in the PNW since 1996 and NEVER saw a whale so I figured this would be my best shot.

The retreat was on an island at a fishing lodge and they had a bunch of 16' dinghies we could use whenever we wanted. One day we went to explore some abandoned village and on the way back somebody told us that four humpbacks were just spotted on the South side of the island so went to see if we could see them.

We saw them from a distance and it was exhilarating. I could see that they were coming up together, staying at the surface for a minute or two, and then going down for about five minutes and then coming up again maybe a thousand feet away. It was hard to say where they would come up so I cut the engine and we drifted for a bit, looking around for them.

Suddenly there were air bubbles all around the boat and fish started jumping out of the water. Peggy said something and, almost in slow motion, the four humpbacks came up out of the water not thirty feet from us. We all gasped and were completely gobsmacked at what we were seeing.

They slipped under the water and Karen asked, "Should we be scared right now?" Laura and I just shook our heads and said, "Naw, it's cool."

I couldn't sleep that night and can still feel one of those whales passing under our tiny boat and I haven't been the same since.

I built a wood cover for my big screen TV 'cause nobody likes it when other people know you watch TV. I painted it black but immediately realized that it looked like a TV that was off. My mom gave me a painting she did in art class of Van Gogh (that makes it an Original Van Gogh) so it inspired me to do something in the Impressionism style (I looked it up). 

This is Ballard Ave and the Ballard Bell. It's not exactly accurate, but it's art and there are no mistakes in artwork. So there. 

The first thing I made when I started putting together my portable cabin (that's what I'm calling it now) was the bathroom. I want a hot shower every morning and access to a toilet 24/7.

It took me a little bit before I got everything worked out, but I made an on-demand hot water shower (using rainwater) and composting toilet for probably about $3,000, not counting my time. 

Here's how I made mine-

I built an 8'x10' rain collector on my roof. The water goes into a downspout, through a filter and into my water tank. Overflow water can go into a reserve tank. 

When I want a shower I just pull a switch which activates the 12 volt electric pump which in turn activates the propane fired hot water heater.

I've got 200 watts of solar and two deep cycle batteries.

Water heater- Camplux 5L 1.32 GPM- $150
Pump- 3 GPM- $60
Shower stall 32"x32"- $250
200 watt solar system- $400
Two 12V batteries- $500
Filter, hoses, pipe, lumber, etc, etc,- $1,000

Front door with overhang. The larger bump out is for the oven and stove, with a propane locker below it. The overhang is part of the rain collector.

Looking forward. Settee and bed with skylight on the left, bathroom with door open, galley on the right.

Painting lifts up to reveal TV. Small pantry, propane fireplace, sink, fridge, stove and oven.

Bump out for the bed on the left.

The bathroom has a composting toilet with no urine tank needed, and a 3'x3' shower with an on-demand propane heater.

This is how my composting toilet works.
It has a regular toilet seat that, when closed, has a lid that has as little of a gap as possible.
Underneath the seat is a five gallon plastic bucket lined with a couple composting bags. The poop drops in and after each use you throw in scoop of drying agent, which for me is a mixture of coconut fiber, sawdust and coffee grounds. You can also throw in other compostable waste. Empty the bag once or twice a week, put it in a double paper bag, and throw it away or put it in a barrel and allow it to fully compost.
The urine diverter (I use Johnny Compost available on eBay) is hooked up to a hose that runs outside and into a flower box where I grow succulents, cat grass and pansies.
I have a funnel set up to use rainwater to help flush out the hose.
I also have the box that the bucket is in vented out through the roof (not shown).
Super simple.

Living off the grid may not be possible for most homeowners and renters in Seattle, but it's certainly possible for people who are willing to live with a small footprint.

I was just back East visiting family. They were having issues with their well and, sure enough, halfway through my shower the water stopped and I had to rinse off with cold bottled water and we couldn't use the toilet all day. And this was in a nice house!

This current crisis probably won't result in a loss of services to most people, but what about the next one? How would you fare without electricity or water? What if you couldn't shower or flush your toilet? What about people living in Tiny House Villages? They don't even have plumbing. What if Honey Bucket suspends services and nobody can use the portable toilets?

Maybe a silver lining to this whole crisis will be that we (or some of us, anyway) learn how to live off the grid in Seattle. Composting toilets, rain collection for hot water showers, and affordable solar power is totally possible.
I know. I'm doing it.