I Have Good Hope

The Craig Clan crest is of a knight in full armor charging into battle with a broken lance. They said of the Craigs, 'Well, they're not very smart, but they're optimistic!'

I played on this when I became a duck captain. I wore a Craig tartan tie and had a whole thing about shouting FREEDOM! to people on the side walk who had funny haircuts (Scottish people are cheap and not so willing to pay $10 for a haircut). 

And then in the off-season, the ducks had a Holiday Tour. I hate Christmas but I volunteered to run tours. I decided I would be Frank, laying Christmas on the line. I bought a full Santa suit and once the passengers were seated I bounded up like I was Santa Claus. After a few Ho Ho Ho's and an Oh What Fun!!, I confessed that I wasn't the real Santa, just a department store Santa who just got off work.

Turns out Frank hates Christmas and kids and religion and The Man. Frank was a Scottish Buddhist who detests materialism and all the major world religions. He was also a strong member of the local Santa union- BFD (Bearded Fat Dudes #86), United We Santa!

My holiday tour was full of bagpipes and inappropriate music and jokes. I had a blast with it and, to my knowledge, only got one serious complaint. 

Now I'm back with the ducks as a driver. I had no intention of being a tour guide, but after driving the guides around for the past few months, I'm thinking… maybe I could have some fun as a guide, too… Driving a duck downtown and into the water is a blast, but maybe it would be fun to hear from Frank Braveliver again. 

​At least for me.

---