I suck at math. I have always sucked at math. If I have to multiply, say, 8 x 7, it takes me a few seconds. I know 7 x 7 is 49. It’s one of those benchmarks, like 6 x 6 is 36. Everybody knows that. But to get to 8 x 7 I start with 49 and add either a 7 or an 8. 49 plus 7 add 1 to make 50 and 6 left over makes 56. That sounds right. To double check I add 49 plus 8 add 1 to make 50 and that’s 57 which I immediately know is wrong.
With 8 x 8 I have to work backwards. I 8 x 9 is 72 because 8x10 is 80 and if you take away 8 it’s 72. Subtract 8 (2 to get to 70 which leaves 6. Subtract that 6 from 70 and you get 54. That’s me. I suck at math. I know that 12 x 12 is 144, but 13 x 13 is gonna require a piece of paper or a calculator. On the bridges we use military time to record when the boats go through. Back in April, when I started, I set my phone to the 2400 setting thinking that in a couple of weeks I’d have it down. Wrong. I’m still not getting it. Tonight I looked at my phone and it said 2157. It might as well have said 5172. Still not getting it. I’m even worse with double negatives. At one of my jobs I have to do these monthly training courses that ends with an exam full of questions like, “Joyce says tells the nurse she has not seen neither of her children.” What the fuck is that?!?!? I could spend an hour trying parse that out and still not get it. I’m also bad at women. But letters I like. I’ve done the Jumble just about every day of my life and I’m always amazed at how many five and six letters words there are that, if you rearrange the letters, don’t form another word. Like GRIOIN can only be one word ORIGIN. LEEDU can only be ELUDE. CORINI IRONIC. I’m sure they’ve had to repeat a clue here and there, but I have never not see one that neither repeated nor did not fail to not not repeat.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. 
Jay Craigjay@craigpipes.com Archives
December 2017

Site powered by Weebly. Managed by StartLogic